To answer your question – although I don’t think this is related to your situation – I think it can still be important for others: If you deal with a clinical depressed person, you have to realize that it is a actual brain dysfunction where the chemistry is out of balance. You can’t talk such a person into feeling better. This will usually frustrate him/her more. The best thing for me was someone who was understanding and who was not trying to improve me directly. It has to come indirectly out of making a real effort to understand and accept. Improvement usually takes time. As I said it’s important to remove the reason for the depression as the person sees it. Can be done by re-interpreting or as in my case by simple getting facts that prove that the reason is wrong (As I thought I may be terminally ill).
In general I think it is important to get GOOD professional help and maybe slight supporting medication. It’s hard enough to find good professional help, so as a supporter I would focus here to find a REALLY competent professional source for clinic depressive people. That could be a psychologist or psychiatrist. Move away fast from your house doctor, because those docs usually don’t know enough about depression (as I found out myself).

I chanced upon your website purely because I was searching for inspirational buddha quotes to send to my boyfriend who I suspect is clinically depressed. He was once a successful theatre manager. Two years ago, he was given a bursary to pursue a Master degree. He completed it last December. Since January this year, he has been looking for a job but has not been successful. He intends to teach theatre at universities but there has not been much positions open. He blames the market, the government, commercialism and is always angry at people and their incompetence. He cannot be travelling on a crowded train as he will burst in anger. He has his good days where he is putting on a face and bad cloud days where he breaks things and is rude but once he calms down he seems ok again.

I have been patient with him for almost five months now and I’m at my wit’s end. I tell him that I am here for him. I am committed to be with him. However, it has been difficult. It might seem foolish to stay with him but I know he needs me. I just want to be able to see him smile, be happy and grateful about life. We only have one life so why not make it a good one.

Recently, he has requested that he needs some time to be away from
everything but I can call him anytime. I know he has to take responsibility and help himself. However, what can partners to help someone who is clinically depressed?

I like all your blogs. I am new here. I am not even start write any thing yet. You are so lucky that this depression happened to you when you were young. Like you said, it changed you to be mature and to love your self and other more. It made you know the meaning of how to live your life. It prospers you for better your insight. I went to the same thing as you did. Mine, started when I was 44 years old. Well the truth is, the depression had been started since I was seven years old, and it still going until now (if I am not in the present moment). At age 44, because of depressing all my life, I got brain deseace calls Bipolar Disorder, Psychosis, and Schizophrenia. Now, I still live with anxieties, and some time, paranoid. I used these negative experiences to benefit others. I have to be gentle with my self a lot. If I can choose for these things to happen to me, I want to choose when I was young at your age or earlier. Then I can uses these negative experience to benefit others more. At age 38, I started practicing meditation. I started very seriously to cope with my depression, because I went to see many counselors, It still not help me. I thought wtih meditation I could find my sub-conscious mind to understand why I was the way I was. But, I feel that my meditation teacher play with my head that was why I lost myself, when he visited me, and after he left I became Psychosis. The reason I said that because my 14 years old boy told me that the Monk (teacher) spent time with him and send some kind of Energy toward him. My son came to me and told me about it. Normally, my son, since he was a little boy until now, he does not like to talk to me or tell me any thing if some friends hurt him or hit him. I went to ask the Monk, why he did that to my son about sending the energy? He was very mad at my question. His face turned red. And he did not talk to me. He walked away from me. The monk came visit me from another town. I let him sleep in my house. Before he came visit me, he wanted me to recruit follower for him. But, I am an introvert person. I like to teach and educate my self before I outreached others. I shared with only the person who is really interested to learn about meditation, and buddhism. I choose who is seriously want to know themselve. I think that if that person not ready, it is like to bring a horse to drink water in the river. A traveler can bring his horse to water, because he thinks that the horse is thirsty. But if the horse does not want a drink, he just starring at the river. That how I see about recruiting a person who is not ready.

I have to apologize for my writing. I am still practice how to write. I will start out by writing my feeling on the internet here. I also lost my memories since 2004 when I started my illness. My memories starts getting better little by little since 2008.
Well I have to go for now. Thank you for sharing your blog. It made me have a chance to share my struggle with others.

Thank you for taking time to write this article, I have found it very useful.

I’m 27 but a recent set of life circumstances has meant that I chose to quit my (very well paying) job because it was the only thing keeping me in another unacceptable situation where I was living.

I have worked pretty much since since I was at college and all during university so I’ve suddenly inherited this enormous “time vacuum” that I’m finding hard to fill.

Part of me feels that now is the perfect time to do something else, develop my website or make other changes but I do rather get the feeling of being *stuck* because I can’t see it leading anywhere.

@Juan: I agree with you about the antidepressants, but I would also consider getting advice from a trained professional if you feel /really/ bad.

I am definitely not an expect on medications, but have been on them a few times.
The side effects are a bit crappy from even the more selective medications (Though these have to be considered alongside the benefits).

Also, they are sometimes necessary (Some people can get /really/ low) but only really intended as a stop gap (6 months – year) to make you strong enough to make the changes that you’ve felt unable to because you’ve felt so low.

Furthermore, it is very easy when you are on them to forget what it was like off them and coming off them needs to be done real careful and under advice

I’ve been off perscribed antidepressants for almost a year now, but I’m going to try something herbal like St. Johns Wort as I’ve read a lot of people who say it has helped them.

Thank you again Myrko I find your blog very helpful.

No, I don’t have this feeling about an depression in the background any more. But I had it for years. I finally overcame it about 3 years ago completely. It was a long process of improving gradually.

It is ok to have this feeling now, since it is there. There is now need to beat you up for it, but you need to keep the will to improve and you can know, that it is possible and will happen. One thing that I realised: the state of depression is completely unnatural. I mean in the most positive and inspiring way, because we are not meant to be depressed. It is changable, you must always believe in this, even if you don’t feel it at the moment.

There is a reason for a depression and it can be found. Once you have found it you can eliminate it, or accept and reinterprete it if it is really not to eliminate. Reinterpreting it then can become an empowering source.

I think the depression is also a very valuable thing to grow from. When things become stressful again, that’s basically a challenge and chance to grow, to master yourself and life and find the love for it inside. Maybe it helped me also to develop my Inside-Out approach to life and to find the energy and power there. That’s a chance for sure.